You've been highly successful, driven and clever most of your life.  You have all the trappings of an amazing life.  People see you as a leader and look up to you.  And yet...

You're a chronic people pleaser, with what feels like a compulsion to be liked, accepted and approved of.  You've built a life around proving your worth through being the loyal and successful one.  You'd likely deny this is the case to anyone who asked, though, because you're smart enough to know you're not supposed to base your worth on outside factors, right? 

So you silently keep playing a game that has you completely burnt out from trying to keep up the charade that you are good girl who knows what you are doing. You often find yourself controlling and trying to fix people and situations - if not out loud, then certainly in your head.  It's exhausting and your nervous system pays the price.  You keep telling yourself "as soon as x happens, then I will Y".  Even though you're starting to see it isn't working, "that day" will never arrive, you still struggle to get off the treadmill. 

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The pain and pressure of this way of living, of constantly being in a stressed body, drives you to numb yourself with food, alcohol, shopping, home decorating or some other substance.  You can convince yourself none of it is a problem because those are just things that successful adults get to enjoy for their hard work, aren't they?  And yet they are delivering ever-diminishing returns.

But, you don't know how to stop playing this un-winnable game, because what other game is going to get you paid and respected? So you keep playing it, hoping it will finally pay off.  It doesn't.

And I'm here to tell you there is another game.  One full of wealth without burnout, connection without self-abandonment, self-reverence without outside validation, success without shame as the driving force.  All of this is possible when you're ready.​